Hardships brings togetherness. But lets not wait for something to go wrong.

It was quite an unrelated incident today morning that set me thinking. I was driving down to office. I was well on time and thus, was not in real hurry. The peak hour traffic would not have let me hurry, even if I wanted to. This was the second time the light turned red at this crossing and the cars around were getting restless.

Just ahead me there was this more old than middle-aged uncle driving a Zen who had slid down his window to pull out the radio antenna that was located right above the drivers window; an old time favourite song on the station maybe. As he pulled it, the round cap on top of the antenna fell off and went right under the car. I knew how he felt. He could not probably listen to his favourite song on the radio station and now this! If he steps out to pick this piece up, horns would erupt, even though the light was still red. And in fact, I might join the chorus too.

I was not alone in observing this. A man was crossing the road just ahead. From his looks, I can say he was a daily traveller, not someone who could afford a car, maybe, but not a daily wager either. He stopped midway on his track, came back near the car, bent down, picked up the piece from under the car, handed over the same to this uncle and went on. I could not see any thankyou's being exchanged, no expectation of a lift, nothing! Just pure simple help and that was the end of it. Our uncle was relaxed now, as if he expected this help anyways. He screwed the cap on the antenna again, pulled it out, and started waiting for the light to turn green.

I was amazed. Why did that get out of the way, and help? What did he get out of it? I was really thinking now. Will I ever do the same. Never !! Or atleast I would really expect a big thankyou and some mention of it somewhere. Something atleast in return! This was, hmm, not practical.

But was I like this always? And I remembered. Suddenly incidents from my past started flooding me. College, initial jobs. We would practically always go out of the way to help anybody who needed our help, never mind if he/she asked for it or not. Just thoroughly impractical. Sp I was indeed like him too. Why was I like that then? And what changed me?

Who am I now? I do not see eye-to-eye to my family now in almost all matters. We were definitely very much together some time back. Whenever one was in trouble, all others were there in no time.

Family may be a wrong example. What about my neighbours!! I remember when we stayed in those DDA flats, the neighbours were family. They could fight till the end for me, and I would not think twice before doing the same. We knew each other's relatives. Well, we practically shared houses and kitchens and even took care of each other guests. Were my relatives more happy to visit us on those times, sharing the rooms, sharing the beds laid down on the floor to accommodate all? Or are they more happy now, when we have this luxury villa, with maids to help out, with separate rooms for all? Now we are locked up in different rooms after a certain hour, only to greet each other on the breakfast table the next day. Was that better?

But didn't we always long for this life?

When we got our first car, we tried our best to make it convenient for each other. We would travel long, on public transport so that our family could get comfortable. Now we have three cars. And its totally inconvenient when one of them goes for a service. Why should I spare my car?

I could empty my bank account for friends and family then; and now I have ample. I am greedy now. Can I ever do that again. But we are talking about bigger amounts now. Have I started weighing money more than relationships?

In office, I would stay back to help out others at work. They would do the same. Now its always, "What do I get out of this?".

What has changed? Am I happy? Why not, I am definitely looking better now. Sitting in this plush office, with a luxury car parked at office, with this latest iPhone3G on my desk, What more could I have asked? How about a smile? A smile and a laugh to feel how happy I am.

The only change I could think of is lack of hardship in my life now. I think that adversity brings out the best in humans, in general. It binds them together with a motivation to get across the problems are faced in the daily life. You would note that we lend out a hand on the road, because we know how hard it is to travel on it. We give our seat to someone else when we are in overcrowded bus/train. We empty our bank accounts for others when the money is hard to come by. It seems that the more we succeed, the more we become distant from others. If we have daily practical issues, we stay together more, help each other, share whatever we have and become socially effective. It actually sounds like the definition of human behaviour that we learnt in school.

Our family and friends still remember the good times we had when we were not so well off. We were together in holidays. We were together in our happiness. We were more understanding and compassionate when we had less.

I do envy the man on the road today. He would have worked hard today so that he could achieve what I have today, much like what I did. He must have laughed out aloud today with his friends. Seems like its true that the grass is always greener on the other side.

I also know now that hardship was merely a state to bring out happiness in me. I could have been happy if I had smiled at home before leaving for office. I could have been happy if I had called up my friends and family for no reason at all. I could have been happy if I had helped somebody today with no expectations of any returns at all. I could be happy if I stop feeling that my time is expensive; expensive enough that it cannot be shared with others.

I know now that I don't have to wait for something to go wrong before I start to share and help others.

Mumbai Attack: Will India and the World ever react against Pakistan based terror?

Agonizing, yes! Its not about what has happened. Its about what we do now.

Terrorists came from Pakistan. Oh! What can you do if some people in your country continue to abate terrorism. What can you do if they give them sophisticated arms, training and use your ships to reach the shore of other country. Well, if the elements in Pakistan can do this and still they are not under your control, it is time, Mr Zardari, for us to do the job for you. If you are affected by terrorism also, it does not satisfy me. If you are a failed state, then why should I be penalized?

I saw an interview of Jim Walsh, International Specialist, MIT right now, on CNN. He took all pains to explain again and again that though the terrorists may have come from Pakistan, Pakistan government should not be held responsible as there are other elements which control such activities. Excuse me. I thought US has been attacking countries where terrorists are not controlled. Will you wait this time till another 9/11 happens everywhere else? Don't you realise that the government does not have any control, and its a nuclear weapons state? Will the world wake up to this terror center? Six Americans dead! While it was "more than" 150 Indians. A round-off. Will India wake up and stop "rounding off" its dead?

Its time to wake up. This incident will unite India again. Elections could have not happened at a better time. The Indian government will be forced to react. Now people will vote for the country, not for their religion or caste. The Pakistan government will be forced to react. From the US president's own words, "There's no friend, there's no enemy. You are either with me or against me."

Gurgaon: An example of perfect governance

The other day, my friend flew in, and decided to spend in a day with me in Gurgaon. As we passed the toll, on the NH8, the skyline of Gurgaon became visible. He marvelled, "Wow! Things have changed here. This is an example of perfect governance. We could learn a thing or two here."

Perfect Governance!! Boy! Did I want to scream!

We exited the highway and thud! The tyre went right in one of the craters on our part of the earth. We survived. But it was enough to get me started on telling my friend how wrong he was.

The toll road is developed privately, you know? And the government cant do much even if there is a brawl on the toll plaza. These people have the right to demand money for the service they are giving us and beat up people if they don't.

There is water on the road, but then its everywhere around NCR, and our expectations are set.

We, like all others in Gurgaon, generate our own electricity, since the supply is rare.

We have to manage our own security, because there are robberies when we don't. And the police cant catch them. Robbers are caught only when they are foolish enough to strike somewhere in Delhi.

We dig our own water. We maintain the greenery in our locality, we do water harvesting and we do the fencing.

The traffic around Maruti Udyog is managed by it, and near the office parking, by us. The logic is simple. Whoever adds to the traffic, manages it.

Government medical facilities? What our those? We have the private hospitals and we pay for the insurance. Dengue is a scare, and I have never seen anything done for it. I know several doctors who volunteer for dispensaries in the surrounding villages.

My friend had enough. Hang on. Your government has to help the poor, manage schools you know. Well then, I do donate to NGO's that run the mid-day meal scheme in government schools, because the government is not able to manage them.

So what do you pay tax for? This is one of the highest tax collection region! He exclaimed.

Its a hafta system. We pay hafta so that the government let us do our work and manage our life. To let us govern. To leave us alone. That's perfect governance!!

I was winning. I was able to tell him how wrong he was. Where the discussion moved now was unexpected.

"So what you are going to do about it?", he asked. What could I do?
"You could talk to the local councillor. Put in your complaints. He/She cannot come over on every part of your town and monitor the progress. In case he does not respond, you could put in RTI applications." Hmm! "Where is the office of the local councillor?" Hmm? "What's his name?" Hunh? "Did you vote?"

I did not. In my family, two support Congress, while two support BJP. That cancels out the need to go to the polling booth.

Its the problem with us. When will we realise that its not about only losing and winning. Its about the numbers. Its about making our politicians know that our vote counts. Two "for" votes and two "against" - makes it two extra votes that need to be won. And for that they will have to account for our queries, work for us. Why would they work if there are no votes to be retained or won?

Did you know that not turning out to vote penalizes you to stay in non-governance for five years.

I didn't. Did you?

The Great Indian Cash-for-vote Scam. Whose fault is it?

The Indian politicians seem to have vaccinated themselves against two human diseases. Honesty and Integrity. But there is deadlier disease stalking the democracy; Indifference.

There was a time in Indian parliament, when just an allegation was enough to drive cabinet ministers to resign. A railway accident would result in the resignation of the head of Indian railways, who would assume moral responsibility for the debacle. A scam would lead to the fall of the government.

Slowly and steadily the vaccination started working. Ministers started "offering" to resign, instead of resigning. Prime Ministers stopped accepting resignations which were on moral grounds. Opposition cried hoarse and called for resignations on every incident, making it a daily affair. The immunity increased. Politicians started denying allegations and clearly stating that they wont resign, whatever may happen. So long since, the Indian politician's fight against the disease of morality is winning, and winning hands down.

Very recently, the Indo-US Nuclear Deal was a debate on issues ranging from Indian dependence on American policies to the need of importing technologies to meet India's growing energy needs. Some debated that it is a minuscule increase in energy
generation (3%-4% of demand) but India has to serve under IAEA regulations forever. Other's felt that its the best chance for India to become part of the nuclear "club". The communist parties withdrew support and it marked the start of the most watched, the next season of the Great Indian Parliament Circus.

It was the greatest Indian Summer Sale ever. MPs for sale!! A lifetime opportunity for those MPs who had selected this illustrious career for its great investment returns. The Congress-I was shopping, and what better customer there could be. This party had been in power for the maximum time since Independence, and hence had its coffers full. Money stacked away in all its premises and resources. There was a stiff competition from another start-up, a rising 5-star rated customer; Mayawati, had all the "legal" money at her disposal, which was given to her by those who loved her.

MPs for sale!! When BJP MPs produced the cash in the Parliament, which was given as token money to them for defecting, media cried hoarse. Black day for Indian democracy.

Excuse me. Did I miss something? Well, the media did cover the support that was given by MPs in return of next years election ticket. It also did cover how a Cabinet posts among other incentives were sold to the convicted leader Shibu Soren, in return for support. Did they support the government for the Nuclear deal? Is cash worse than a cabinet post? Is cash worse than a ticket to next year's election? Why is cash incentive worse than any other form of bribe? Why is not the exchange offer of support versus posts not under the severe media outrage?

And worse still. What happens if any of this gets proved? You see a video tape, as evidence. "Doctored", they say. You file a charge sheet. So what?

My fear: Soon they will say: "Yes, We bought votes! So? What can you do?". Cry hoarse again for resignation? There is nothing that you can do. You are merely a puppet of what the media paints, the media shows and the media asks you to do. You
wont go to Jantar Mantar for a protest march. You wont go to Lal Kila grounds for protest march. Worse. What even if you go? How does it matter!!! You may even immolate yourself as mark of your protest, but then its your loss. Britishers were better. At least they considered non-violent movements as protests.

One solution. You could Vote and let your opinion be heard. But will you vote the next time? Or would you go on a short vacation on that extended weekend? And even if you do, will you remember all these incidents when you vote? Do you think scams matter to you? Remember, Lalu Prasad Yadav is a hero, now. Will you not vote for leaders with criminal backgrounds? Will you not vote for somebody who promises something specific only for your community, your race, your caste, even if you are a minority? Do you not sell our vote currently to parties who promise to work for a specific agenda which helps you as individuals? Do we care if our leader's vote was sold?

Do we care if Nuclear deal goes through or not? How many of us have read it, understood it and not gone only by what a puppet media provides as inputs?

Indifference. We all suffer from it. Its time the Indian politicians and media stop wasting there time on allegations and counter-allegations. The great Indian vote bank does not care. The politicians could just say: "yes, we did it!" and go ahead. Buy more; there are votes to be bought. We, the Indian nation, will not vote for the right causes or anything that is of national importance and related to national security. We don't see moral grounds. We only see money, which is present in our personal banks. We are no better than our politicians.

For those who want to read the 123 agreement, there is ample on the net. Ditto for the text summary of cash-for-vote scam. But will you go to the Google toolbar and type those magical words? I will not provide you the links here, and make your job easy.

Losing, Winning and Backing your Competitor

Well, I saw this photograph on the Net today (courtesy AP). Senator Hillary Clinton holding up a T-shirt, which has support for Barack Obama written over it. Accompanying the act is a deep smile, acknowledging that she is really supporting him. But do her eyes betray her? Or is it that we, as individuals, cannot accept that anybody, as powerful as she is, could forget the bitter battle loss and now stand and support him?

"Too good to be true", "She's faking it". Maybe, Maybe not.

Battle losses could be of many types.
1) In which your opponent just crushes you. Steam-rolls you
2) In some cases, the battle is a good fight, but the opponent was always a winner, it is just that you gave them some things to think and worry about.
3) Yet some which are really really close. Nobody knows who is going to win till the very last.
4) And then there are some in which is there is no such distinction on why you lost, by what margin you lost, and some think that you were the winner, but the announcement was made otherwise.

Case 1) crushes the ego, sometimes to such extent that you back out forever. You would not even try again. However, there exists an easy escape route here. Nobody really expected you to win. You still stood there and faced the challenge. And you get the sympathies. Nobody wants to "BE YOU" but you could still sell that loss in some way or the other.

Case 2) is the best possibility. It made you a fighter. It made you respectable. You didn't have "it" in you, but you still tried, and gave a tough time to the opponent. More improvement, and you may even beat the opponent the next time. You are somewhat satisfied in this loss.

Case 3) destroys you. It makes you think and think hard. Think whys and hows. Why did you lose? You could have won? How would it have felt to win? This kind of a loss would have an additional baggage that lingers on for a long long time. Sometimes to the point that you curse yourself for doing somethings wrong. Its really difficult to get out of it, unless you get a second chance. If it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, you may never be able to forgive yourself again. Imagine missing a jackpot ticket by one number, when you could have the choice of picking up this ticket or the next. A close game. A close race. It becomes all the more difficult to give it a try again. If its a close fight, will it happen again, will you win, or lose again? You may then almost always lose all close fights.

Case 4) losses are also bitter. The judges were incapable. You had already won. Life goes on, but you get stuck, on proving that you won!

In all cases, would you acknowledge the winner, stand and back her and say: She is the right choice. Pick her as the winner. Would you? Would Obama had done it if he had lost?

Lets see. If the loss is of type 1), then doing this would not be difficult. Would make you a "good game", "nice person", "mature". In case 2, you are "incredible", "understanding", a "potential winner".

What about the next two? Its difficult. Its difficult because everybody knows that its hard for you. And they would make it harder by analysing your expressions for that one sad look, that one frustration, the look that says that "I could have been there. I could be in her place and she could have been here promoting me." You are a bad loser.

Yet, life goes on. Its your life. You could chose to sulk over what happened, the rest of your life. Carry this baggage along forever. Choose not to forget and not let other people forget. Take a revenge. Spend your next twenty years on proving to the world around you and to yourself that you could have won. Lose all close games forever.
OR
Choose to accept, and Accept that it was never a close fight. You were never winning. Winning is not about margins. You either win or lose. If you would win, you would do it with a grand margin. Anything less was anyways a failure. So, it was not a close fight. Slowly move from case 3) to case 2). Accept that the opponent won, with a handsome margin, but there is a chance now. Chance to come back the next time, harder, because close fights are not won on talent, capabilities, possibilities. Its a matter of luck, which was never in your hands.

You will win, win the next time. And this time, it would not be about margins. It would be about the result. There are no Case 3)s and 4)s losses in your life. Its either Case 1) or 2).

Still difficult to back your competitor after the loss?

To be with you, for you, forever

Its always difficult to keep the promise, especially when the promise is for forever.

Is it really so difficult, or is it that we get worried about "forever" even before it starts? It may be so. But then forever promises are not made for someone who is not important.

And YOU are important to me. No! Not somebody else, but you.
Is it so difficult to believe? Well, you were searching, and you found me. And I will be here. To take care of all your whims, fancies and desires. To provide you the answers to your questions.

What do I get in return?
You. Your time, your inputs. Yes!!! Give and Take! the oldest barter!
But here is the difference. Not asking you for any commitment.
Will continue to post my ideas, and hopefully, in time, they become "our" ideas.

I am here. With you, For you, Forever
Try me!